Grateful Mondays

5 things I'm grateful for today:

1.) Temple Grandin. I've been on a movie kick lately and that's one good movie. 

2.) My funny, quirky, sweet, deaf Boston Terrier.

3.) Only 54 more days until Longhorn football. \m/ 

4.) Watching my 12 year-old son work a crowd. 

5.) Hat Creek burgers. My brother's right - they're yummy. 

Did you know that the practice of gratitude makes you happier and healthier? It's by design. What are you grateful for today?

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever. ~ Psalm 107:1

You stupid idiot.

No, I'm not talking to you; I'm talking to me. Did you know these are the words I have regularly said to myself? I would never, ever say it to you, and I'd be upset if I heard you say them to someone else. But I have said them regularly to myself. Out loud. It doesn't take much, either. Just a run over the curb or a spill of my drink, and that's what I've said without hesitation.

Usually the person I'm ugliest to is ME. At least 90% of the time. (Okay, my family might find that statistic hard to believe, but they're going to have to trust me. :))

The irony is that I absolutely can't stand to see people bullied or oppressed. My kids know that I will go bat kaka crazy on them if I get a whiff of that kind of behavior going on. Love God, love sushi, be kind to ALL of God's creation -- that's what I desire for them.

But when I've said ugly, disparaging things to myself?  Somehow that didn't count. Why not? There have been countless nights when I've laid my head down and asked for a day's worth of forgiveness, and I've not even considered the nasty things I've said to myself. Along with that, I've neglected to teach my children to be kind to themselves. I just flat out believed I deserved the terrible things I said to myself, and that's how it went.

Where I got this from, I have no idea.  But I'm not writing this post to beat myself up, because that would be kind of ironic (and I could could sooo go there). I write it because I bet there are others out there like me who value kindness, but they don't they believe that kindness needs to be extended to themselves. It does.

I remember hearing that famous Whitney Houston song "The Greatest Love of All" and not completely buying into the lyrics because it said "learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all". No, no, no! Loving God is the greatest love of all, said my holier-than-thou 13 year old self (wait, that description is redundant). Okay, perhaps I was technically right, but God so desperately loves me (ME. Jennifer. ME.), and that's John 3:16. He wanted me to be kind to myself because He created me, and that's a good thing. I was and am no less of God's creation. Here's a truth:  I am kinder to others when I practice kindness to myself.

Parenting gives me a whole new perspective, and that must be part of the reason why God uses the analogy so often in the Bible. When I hear my kids talk badly about themselves, I grieve. Why can't they see themselves as I see them? They're precious gifts from God. Go forth and be what God made you to be, you awesome creation! But it doesn't seem to happen that easily for my kids, and then aha!, I recognize myself in them (but I'm not going to beat myself up over that either. ;)).

(source)

I've come a looong way, baby. I'm not nearly as quick to cut myself down and be the self-inflicted "mean girl" as I used to be. Knowing my worth is not a haughty vice - it's believing I am who God says I am, and that's only a good thing.  So, I've made a promise to be nicer to myself. Will you do me a favor and be nicer to yourself too? It helps the world go 'round -- in a good way. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that both God and I think you're kind of a big, wonderful deal. :)


Comparison is the thief of joy. ~Theodore Roosevelt

Doing Things I Cannot Do

Barton Springs last week

Learning to swim these past 3 months has been difficult enough for this not-so-much lover of water. And open water swims? That's a whole new level of terrify. All I can think about as I stand on a lake shore is how there is no escape route. I can walk anytime when I'm tired of running, and I can slow my cadence if a hill is killing me on the bike. But I will D-I-E (perish, I tell ya') a horrible death if I get too tired of swimming. I'm a little addicted to living, I really am, and I have no desire to die in that horribly claustrophobic way. I'd rather fall out of an airplane and splat on concrete.

So, here I am, with a solid resume of 42 years of water phobia under my belt, still plugging along at TRIathlon training. Why, you ask? I'm not so terribly sure, except to say that I believe that I should. Nobody would fault me if I gave up swimming tomorrow, and I know that. You'd all understand. We all have insecurities, anxieties, and even phobias, and we should give each other grace for them. 

A funny thing happened on the way to my first marathon, though. I became bolder. With each difficult thing I did, I was emboldened to do more difficult things. The physical gave way to the spiritual. As I strengthened my body the Spirit strengthened within me. I have always said that I would never do triathlons because of that darn swim part. So after the marathon, guess what I decided to do?

With this new emboldened feeling, I wish I could report to you my massive successes in open water swimming. Um, no. I'm inching towards getting better, but I still tense up completely. I can't make it 50m in open water without holding on to a swim can and breathing like Godzilla was on my tail. I seriously need some sort of hypno-psycho-behavioral-therapy. Anybody got suggestions?

Last week, I started back to open water swimming (at Barton Springs) after a 2 1/2 week absence. I stood in the shallow water for what seemed like hours, talking myself into diving in. Oh my goodness, it was not easy for me to start up again. I'm sure the lifeguards had some sort of walkie-talkie "code-yellow" action on my bright pink swim cap standing there. "Swimming poser with a look of terror detected in yonder pink cap. Keep your eyes peeled for her," is what I imagine them to say.

And like in marathon training, I told myself, "Ain't nobody gonna swim this for you. YOU. Have. Got to do this." (Seriously, that's exactly what I tell myself. The bad grammar double-negative stuff just gets it through my brain more quickly.)

So, I dived in and took MY leap of faith.  So what if I stopped every 10m to hold on to that God's gift of a side-bar? I dived. ;)

The long-awaited rains have fallen hard upon the thirsty ground
and carved their way to where the wild and rushing river can be found
And like the rains I have been carried here to where the river flows, yeah
My heart is racin' and my knees are weak as I walk to the edge
I know there is no turning back once my feet have left the ledge
And in the rush I hear a voice, it's telling me it's time to
Take the leap of faith
So here I go

I'm diving in
I'm going deep
In over my head I wanna be
Caught in the rush
Lost in the flow
In over my head I wanna go
The river's deep
The river's wide
The river's water is alive
So sink or swim
I'm diving in
I'm diving in

There is a supernatural power in this mighty river's flow
It can bring the dead to life, and it can fill an empty soul
And give a heart the only thing worth livin' and worth dyin' for, yeah
But we will never know the awesome power of the grace of God
Until we let ourselves get swept away into this holy flood
So if you'll take my hand, we'll close our eyes and count to three
And take the leap of faith
Come on let's go


("Dive" by Steven Curtis Chapman)


I'ma going in. See you in that crazy water. 


How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?  ~ Satchel Paige

Grateful Mondays

5 things I'm grateful for today:

1.) Countryside bike rides and trail running. Being outside keeps exercise fun. 

2.) Home grown tomatoes. (Yes, I've listed this before, but I can't get enough of 'em. Seriously, I'm going to turn red. Watch this, and you'll understand.:))

3.) Instagram. I have so much fun with it. 

4.) Watching the beautiful birds that feed at our front yard bird feeder. 

5.) Dara Torres.   

Did you know that the practice of gratitude makes you happier and healthier? It's by design. What are you grateful for today?

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever. ~ Psalm 107:1

Grateful Mondays

5 things I'm grateful for today:

1.) Crazy 5K races with crazy friends. I love Austin, but I love my friends even more. :)

2.) The American track and field Olympic trials. 

3.) Swimming breakthroughs.

4.) God's amazing grace. 

5.) This little gem of a poem right here. 

Did you know that the practice of gratitude makes you happier and healthier? It's by design. What are you grateful for today?

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever. ~ Psalm 107:1

Grateful Mondays

5 things I'm grateful for today:

1.) Inspiring movies like Happy.  

2.) Air-conditioning on hot summer days.

3.) Sweet and delicious home-grown tomatoes.

4.) The love of my husband.

5.) Spin class this morning at the Y. It kicked my glutes.(:




Did you know that the practice of gratitude makes you happier and healthier? It's by design. What are you grateful for today?




Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever. ~ Psalm 107:1

Bucket List (Part I)

Notre Dame: crossed off my list last March

I've been keeping a small, mental "bucket list" before I even knew what to call it. Childhood history nerd that I was, most of the items I added to my early list were historical things to see, like:  Pompeii, the treasures of King Tut's tomb, and Ford's Theater (check, check, and check). As I've grown older, the list has expanded to all sorts of categories - fitness, spiritual, vocational, mental, etc. Although my list has grown, changed, and matured, my love of keeping a bucket list is still going strong.

If you're into creating bucket lists, I've come across some interesting blogs and websites on the topic that you might want to check out. This bucket list blogger gives helpful tips on starting your own list. I think 'thinking outside the box' is my favorite piece of advice. And mah voyeuristic self loves looking over his own list, too. Here's a website where you can publish your list if you want accountability, don't care to blog it, and want to have 3 million of your closest friends to cheer you on. The bucket list of this 16 year old girl with terminal cancer wins the "Most Deserving" award, and I'm inspired by some of the quirky prospects this guy has on his list. (Playing in the Rock, Paper, Scissors championships? How fun is that?!)

Here are some things *I* try to keep in mind when I'm making my list:

1.) Keep it active. My list is never meant to be definitive or complete. It's okay to add, erase, and alter. Life changes, goals change, and goodness knows I change. Go with the floooooow.

2.) Make the list my friend. This is not school, and I never want to let it get me down. If I never accomplish or become some of the items on my list, that's okaaaaay. Good gravy, it's better to make a list and work towards something than to never make a list at all. I need to remind myself of that.

3.) Make it ME. Wow, this is a big one. I don't care to skydive. Even though I think I read this on a million people's lists, it's just not one of my goals.  So be inspired, but don't not be you. Oh, and don't use double negatives. 

4.) Let it scare me. I purposefully choose a couple things that rattle my core. You know those things that seem crazy, but you deeply and secretly long to do?  I list 'em. Yeah, perhaps that's not just me nudging my oh-so-awesome micro-fine gel pen towards them in my handy-dandy-Moleskine.

5.) Search all aspects of life. I love to travel, but there are far, far more things to add to my list than just travel. I try to think of at 3 things to list from various areas of my life. It rounds me out.

6.) Never let age define the list. I'm trying to learn things at 42 (hello, swimming and cycling) that many learn at earlier ages. I try to push age aside and forge ahead on goals. As Mark Twain says, "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Amen. 

And, without further ado, here's the first installation of bucket list items I've been writing in my (beloved) Moleskine. (So sorry, did I just mention Moleskine again? ;-)) I'm not numbering them, because there is no set number and there never will be.

- Swim 800m in open water (without holding on to anything, I guess I should add) - I have the buoyancy of a lead anvil and a deep-seated fear of putting my head under water and not touching ground. (I love the ground, you see. It makes me very happy. Freud would have a heyday.) You guys who can swim forever absolutely amaze me. This is, honestly, the bucket list item that I most fear will never happen. "Fear" is the operative word in every respect of this list item.

- Go to the Olympics - I'd prefer summer (because track and field is my love, go Usain and Kara Goucher), but I'd take watching the winter Olympics in person in a heartbeat. This has been a dream for decades.


- Get a tattoo. Sho' did -- last week! And if another person tells me I don't seem like the type to get a tattoo, I'll get a third. (Oops, Mom, did you see that? I actually have two. I know you still love me. :-))


- Work in the fitness industry. I don't know how, and I don't know where.  It's just something I know I love participating in, and I'd enjoy helping others gain strength and confidence through exercise.


- Hand-make every Christmas gift - This isn't so much about about frugality as it is about putting my heart and time into every gift. I'm not on a good trajectory for finishing that by this Christmas. Lord willing, I'll have more Christmases to try.

- Blog more - You know you enjoy something if it doesn't matter whether anyone knows about it or not. Writing is that way for me. (Go, introverts. :-)) I simply enjoy it, and I'm fulfilled by it.

So, there you have it. What are some of your bucket list items? I'd love to know!





Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.   ~ Mark Twain